02.06.02 8:07 am

so my new goal these days is to be able to sit in front of him, as he tells me about his new life with her and follows it up with how much he still loves me and always will, and NOT leak into tears.

i kept looking up during dinner - our arranged meeting to sign the petition to get the divorce rolling this week - so as not to meet his eyes, i kept focused on the artwork for sale above our heads.

his words flowing over and through me and i could do nothing but moistly stare at oil paintings of ocean. abysmal blue striations in varying frames.

and tiny in the middle of each one, a solitary figure standing deep in infinite water.