01.26.04 2:06 pm

buried to the eyeballs in work this week and i'm groggy today despite the tall vienna boost.

yesterday was a good day: long lingering lunch of eggs with salsa and soulsister loretta. played catch up on my move and her trip to paris (note to self: reach a point in life where you may say 'i bought _______ in paris'). ate dark spanish chocolate and sleepily watched 'monsoon wedding'. that evening i stayed in with a friend, ordered greek pizza and watched kurosawa's 'cure'. cuddled with alphonse. cozied into my bed and fell instantly asleep.

i love these days.

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i'm in craving mode. craving creative. craving substance. craving quality. craving real.

no more quick fixes.

i don't have to have it all figured out. i don't have to do it all today. i don't have to get it all today.

feeling the pull towards many directions but am forcing the focus gently. i am in no hurry, but i am determined to get there in time.

what the hell are all these vague generalities and pocket mottos? what do they mean?

they mean that i am embarking on a journey of firsts. i get up when my alarm goes off. i wear makeup *before* i walk out the door. i catch the earlier bus, not the later one. i budget the latte's and the weekly pad thai fix. i carry a small notepad and gel pen in the front pocket of my backpack to actually jot the flashes when they strike.

these are small things. and they feel good in big ways.

more small things to come.