09.30.04 3:11 pm

i'm sitting at the computer in pajamas and bare feet. it's one-thirty in the morning. armed with old eyeglasses, a glass of diet coke and a cranky feline, i am battling my virus-laden computer, coaxing and pleading with it to receive a friend's norton cd.

remember my 40something britney spears blasting upstairs neighbor with the 24-hour vacuum obsession? yeah. well.

it's one-thirty in the morning and i hear him in the corner of the communal backyard.

there is nothing more spooky than walking through your dark apartment alone in the middle of the night to investigate a creepy noise coming from right outside your window.

only to see that your creepy neighbor has a shovel and is pounding through a patch of rectangular soil that could pass for a garden, though you've never seen flowers or vegetables growing there.

this went on for another hour. i know this because i was wide awake and unable to sleep while i could hear him pound the earth.

i can only assume the "evidence" is now buried there.

it's times like these that remind me i'm living in the serial killer capitol of the world.