07.03.06 9:31 pm

people are going crazy here with the fireworks. more than ever. there's a huge overwhelming desire apparently to match the heat we're having with as much noise as possible. and every imbecilic blast makes me jump out of my body just a little bit. this is my least favorite holiday.

i impulsively booked a room in a downtown hotel for tomorrow night. it's pricey, but it has a/c and is far enough away from the idiot teens in this neighborhood. so tomorrow, breakfast with ph, world cup, then we hide out in a dark cave in a high tower away from the crazies. sounds about right to me.

two weeks ago i had the biggest freakout at work. i screwed up big. time. and it was unearthed. talk about leaving your body. my mind left my body and scrambled to crawl under the nearest heavy thing it could find. everybody makes mistakes, but when the mistakes are met with crazy kneejerk anger, i don't handle that well. and it was never even directed at me. i just heard it outside my office, anticipated the shit to come my way, and proceeded to have a panic attack. so to calm down, i decided to leave the office and take a walk. at which point a seagull from god flew majestically over my head and took a shit on me. so i turned right around, went back to the office, washed up, and immediately requested the next four days off. which i took. and everything is fine and dandy. they know they've overworked me by making me do double-duty for the past 2 years. the price of nonprofit sweatshops: ugly mistakes. i just need to remember to put in a purchase order request for a defibrillator.

i dont know what to do about the ph thing. i love him. that, in a nutshell, is my problem.

oh, and i was diagnosed this month with diabetes.

anything else? give me a moment. i'm sure i'll think of something...